venerdì 21 dicembre 2018

Butar sardoni: le principali tecniche triestine

Ben bon, visto che semo andai adiritura ala ribalta nazionale con sta storia del Butar sardoni, ne par giusto alora tirar fora un'altra anteprima del novo meravigliosissimo "The origin of Nosepolis", el regalo de Nadal più cool de tuti, in tute le librerie più bobe! ;)

Eco, ciolto del'articolo "The triestin muleria: going to school is cool", le varie tecniche de sardoni launching usade nele scole (nei anni 90, ma val anca desso dei).

The ingrooming behavior is the complex group of techniques used to ingroomar.
Note that this behavior is a human evolution of the grooming behavior, typical of the primates that consists in cavarse the pedocees at vicenda. In triestin society the grooming can still be notated in the girls that strucks the brufols to the males at Barcola Beach, a behavior called ailogrooming (viz che capiremo in tre :D).
The efficency of every ingrooming technique is here analysed valutanding its GUA (Girl Uptake Abundance - quanto te ingrumi, insoma), the mean CTF (CuloTetteFiga) Factor of the babe ingroomade and the PIC (Piadoni Int’el Cool) received.

Random sardoning: it consists in the performation of a Fixed Action Pattern in the presence of a particular stimuli (i.e. babe). In this case the scheme is:
INPUT: baba che riva in the coridoio or down of the scale.
BRAIN ELABORATION: the mulo buta un cuc and verifies the positivity of the CUC (Condition Under Control):  la respira?
OUTPUT: if CUC is positive → sardon; if CUC is negative → wait for the next baba.
Efficiency: GUA 5, CTF 1, PIC 5

Annuary premeditated systematic sardoning: this technique is divided in two phases. The first is theorical and consists in looking carefully to all the photoes of the Annuary, cercianding all the high CTF mulettes. Then there is the practical phase, that consist in launching sardoni to the cerciated mulettes, in a systematic way: for first all the CTF 5 rank mulettes, in order of classrom, beginning from the 1A (in fact, mulettes of the section A were always highly sardonated). Then all the CTF 4 rank mulettes and then the CTF 3 rank mulettes.
The very professionists of this technique can also enlarge their horizonts, fazendose imprestar the Catalogues... whooops, sorry... I mean the Annuaries of other schools. There is a secret mercato nero of school Annuaries, and a lot of pusher of Annuaries have become rich now.
Efficiency: GUA 5, CTF 4, PIC 4

Facebook sardoning: the modern version of the annuary sardoning, but with more photoes and a lot of dati sensibili of the target mulettes and with even the possibility of likar them.
Efficiency: GUA 5, CTF 5, VPIC (Virtual Piade Intel Cool) 5, DPS (Denunce Per Stalking) 5

Alcoholic sardoning: this technique consists in imbriaghing the target mula. However, there are a lot of probable collateral effects:
- You are too much impetessated and you miss the target, sardoning the wrong mula, or even worst sardoning a mulo or an animal or a balon de balon in the palestra.
- You go spolp and the alcoholic sardoning becomes sbruming in the Spurassic Park (in the 90’s the garden just under the Oberdan was called in this way).
- The mula goes spolp and the alcoholic sardoning becomes sbrumwatching in the Spurassic Park.
Efficiency: GUA 2, CTF 2, PIC 5

Leopardian mentalpipping sardoning: it consists in heavily loosing your mind for an ideal ethereal celestial baba incastranding yourself in a infinite undichiarated  platonic love, writing her smarronant poems that will be scartated by the school journalin redaction. Typical consequences:
- Finally your 5 school years will end and you won’t see her again, but you will still dream of her, being buried in a heart-shaped coffin for weeks (citazion colta ciò) and becoming an artist (Cobain, 1992). Or a petesson.
- You will declare yourself in the last minute of the last hour of the last day of your last school year. Typically, the story will last only few days because you will stufar prest of the real terrene proiection of your ideal love.
Efficiency: GUA 1, CTF 5, PIC 2 (from yourself)

NPC sardoning: it consists in making the pheego and not gaver Neeanche Pel Cool the mule, impenanding all day with your scooter. Generally this technique ingroomate a lot, if you’re really pheego. If not, you still don’t have them pel cool, so npc.
Efficiency: GUA 5, CTF 5, PIC 1

Zerbin sardoning: worst type of sardoning in the history. The mulo is totally inzinganated and inzerbinated by the mula. He will acompagnate her to school, make her homeworks, buy her everyday paneens of coto senape cren and finally he will help her to ingroomate a more pheego mulo that is using the NPC sardoning, and he will remain forever alone and sfigated.
Efficiency: GUA 1, CTF 5, PIC 5 (but symbolic)

Females generalment are more sgaious than males and prefers to wait for being ingroomade and po bon. However there are three great techniques for this:

Being a pataton: this is the behavior of the CTF rank 4-5 mulettes. It consists in making nothing, tanto te ingroomi comunque.

Being with a pataton: this is used by young CTF 1-2 rank mulettes, that stay near a pataton thinking that in this way they will also ingroomar. The name is similar to the first technique, bu no, no funzia.

Boncomexedeing: this is used by mule that have scazated themselves of waiting and give a piadon in the popocee of the indormenzated mulo asking him “Bon, alora? come xe? Se sveiemo?”, easily ingrooming him. This technique can be the fortune of a male Leopardian mentalpipping sardoner and can portar to a neverending true love. Oooooh che cocoli.

Eh bon. E desso profitemo per ricordarve dela grande oferta a domicilio de luglio:

La “trilogia linguistica”: Le Disgrazie del tran de Opcina, scritto in dialetto triestino; The origin of Nosepolis, in “triestinglish”; L’osmiza sul mare, in italiano.

Acquistando i primi due, il terzo sarà omaggio.
In pratica il costo dei tre libri, spese di spedizione in Italia comprese, è di 22 euro.
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