sabato 25 ottobre 2014

Bora, istruzioni per l'uso

La Bora a Trieste, ecco le istruzioni international per l'uso. La versione originale no la trovemo più, la gaveva postada la Barcolana. Al Monon Behavior Research Department era stato affidato il duro compito di tradurla.
Ecco le instruction ciò!

Pupolo de Erika Ronchin
Bora: instructions for tourists and forestis 

1. If windows are scassanding themselves, it’s Bora (windows vista no val: it’s always scassated)

2. If the copps of the roofs are scassanding themselves, it’s a lot of Bora
2a. if you are in Bisiacary, a lot of Bora is Boronononona

3. If the walls have the tremaz, no: it’s a teremot

4. If you’re going out, your jumbot will not bastar

5. If you’re staying home like a pantofoler, your morepussies (piumone) will bastar

6. If it’s raining, it’s caro cogoi. Your ombrela will turn at the first refol and it will be impossible to indrizz and serar it. So you will infilate it in the first scovazon, obviously after having run behind it (the scovazon).

7. If they sold you an ombrela saying it’s anti-bora, don’t have them pel cool: they are only trying to inzinganate tourists.

8. If it isn’t raining and it’s Dark Bora (Darth Vader’s dark side of the Bora), probably it will rain. And the ombrela will go to remeng

9. If you’re a baba, don’t use tacks: up the Bora suffs more

10. If you’re mulon, don’t use the tacks (even when there’s no Bora)

11. If you’re going to Big Square (now called Unity Square), walk by the Prefetur side. The Lloyd side is for real bobe and sailors.

12. If you need to park the car, do it against Bora direction. You didn’t do it? Bravo mona. Now repair the door of the car arente yours and cazz 800 euri. If your car has 5 doors, you haven’t bugnated the car arente and the bora refol has opened decagars your front door, you bugnated also the back one. Cazz again 800 euri.

13. If you parked against Bora direction probably you will not be able to open the door, but it’s better to be incugnated in your car than cazzar 800 euri, no? Ecolo.

14. If you see a bagolant scovazzon, don’t gaver it pel cool, today is its nagana day

15. If you leave somthing out in a pergol, you’re out like a pergol. Go and find it in South West direction, probably near Stramonazz

16. If you see a camera with a operator filming, don’t pass in front of him: for experience they stay where there are refols at tradiment, and you could see yourself barcolling without molling on the seral TG1.

17. Ou, don’t go to the Saint Karl Dock (now Bold Dock).
Ou fenomeno! I’ve said: don’t go to the Saint Karl Dock (now Bold Dock)

18. The names of some Triest street are strictly related to the Bora: what are you doing today in via Windmill if you are not Don Chisciotte? And don’t say monate dei, you’re not Don Chisciotte.

19. Bagoling against Bora is an art that you learn when you are a young mocoloso. Or at least a cagainbraghe. If you have not yet imparated, caro cogoi.

20. Triestin people think that only the pampels guant themselves on the light pals.

Bon, e adesso non vi resta che andare a comprare l'osmiza sul mare e regalarlo a tutti!
Se no un refolo de bora ve porterà in malora! ;)

L'Osmiza sul mare lo trovate in tutte le librerie di Trieste e Bisiacaria a 10 euri.
Oppure comodamente online a questo link.
O anche in formato ebook.


4 commenti:

  1. if you are taking out you dog for scagazzing, and the dog start flying in the wind, instead of scagazzing, now you know it is time to go back home. with the dog or without.

    1. Fors it's better without, because the dog may be scagazzing in the air!

  2. Scientists have invented an aquilon for bora days. Don't buy it, if you don't want to visit Ancona, the very same day.

  3. If you live in a grataciel over the 5° floor and the walls are scassing themselves, it may be bora and not terremot.... Try it to believe!


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