martedì 17 gennaio 2017

Bora a Trieste: ode al vento del Nord Est

Bora a 130 e ciapili. Qual buon vento! Una delle migliori occasioni per rispolverare lo studio sulla Bora pubblicato nel Tre Volte Monon Behavior.
P.S. Prestissimo grandi novità a riguardo della saga Monon Behavior :)

Bora suffing: Ode to the East-North East Wind

Monon Behavior Research Department

The Bora is one of the principal aspects that characterize the city of Triest. This wind suffs really forton and is loved by all the triestins, apart when they make sazie culatades on the ground. We measure the power of this wind in various location of the city in order to mapizar the best places where tourists can enjoy its enchantment, cagand themselves indoss for the zime and svoland away.

Key words: dark side, Chewbacca, largo pestalozzi, bira, Percy Bysshe Shelley

bora a Trieste
Pupol by Erika Ronchin
In literature the Bora is described as “an aspect of the circulation at mesoscale of the low atmosphere, correlated to a gradient of pression between the continental entroterr and the sea, in which the continental air, more dense and sutt of the maritime air that is being substituted from it, tend to ciapar speed for catabatic effect and assumes costant direction derived from orografy” (Refolo, 2001). After several session of spritzettes and great mental sforzes, we are squasi squasi convinted that this description means that “the Bora is a wind, dei, that suffs from East-North East, ciò”. Obviously the two most important words of this definition are “dei” and “ciò”.
The Bora is a very important peculiarity of the city of Triest, so important that every time that the Bora suffs at more than 100 km/h the national television channels make a service about it (some persons think they always recycle the same service), while in the rest of the year no one has pel cool Triest, and think it is in Slovenia, in Croatia, in Jugo, in Remengo, or near Trento, just after the bridge.
There are two types of Bora: the light Bora, that suffs with the sun, and the evil dark side of the Bora, called the dark Bora, that has been corrupted by the emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, and that suffs with the malefic rain (Lucas, 1977). When the dark Bora suffs, it is very very longhi and even Chewbacca batts brockes.
However, the light Bora has a symbolic importance for some old Austroungaric nostalgic: they say that the Bora, that suffs circumcirca from the direction of the old Austroungaric empire, ports with it the sun, the nice weather and the prosperity. Instead, the wind that suffs from South-West, like “that maledet barc in 1918”, ports piova, sand and scovazzes (Patoco, 1936).
Bon, we have stufated ourselves of this long introduction and go ahead. The aim of this study is to mapizar the best places in Triest where the Bora suffs, in order to encourage tourists to visit the places where they can cagar themselves indoss for the zime and svolar away without paying the airplane ticket.

Material and methods
To perform our study, we use the solit first person scoionament sampling method (Manna, 2009a), cazzeggianding in various streets during the days of light Bora. During the days of dark Bora, we stayed at home watching from the window the ribaltanding vecionis, because no semo miga mone. To measure the power of the Bora, we used a highly scientific scale based on various varianting variables. If the variable was present, we assigned a bonus to the local Bora power as indicated in table borin. If the Bora was not present, we used the table Borout, that is not allegated in this study.

Veces ribaltaded on the ground
+10, +15 if they scream “remengo!”
Rivoltated umbrellas
+2, +5 if the umbrellas are “anti-wind” tech
Porcons emitted
Depends on porcon type
High CTF muletes' cotoles upraised
+3 and a golden medal to the Bora!
Low CTF muletes' cotoles upraised
-2, stupid Bora cisba
Car doors divelted
+5, +7 if the owner of the car is triestin
Scoverciated scovazonis
+2, +3 if the scovazzes fly away
Capotated scooters
+2, +4 if the scooter was moving, special prize to the owner if the scooter has the parabrezz
Sradicated trees
Depends on tree type
Svolanting cats
+5, +7 in case of cats sgionfated by gattares, +10 if the thing svoling is Chewbacca
Table borin. Bonus assigned to Bora power in presence of different conditions.

However, there is a big malus that must be applicated to the formula: if one of the vecionis in zone exclaims the pearl of saggezz “No xe più la bora de una volta”, all the bonuses assigned must be instantly removed, because the vecionis knows her long (la sa longa, dei).

bora a Trieste
Fig. Burian. Bora obtaining a +3 bonus.
We had a big number of data, but at the end of the study the Bora raised the cotole of a really high CTF girl (Fig. Burian), we distracted ourselves and opened the car door without tegnir it and it svoled away against a vecia, ribaltanding her (she screamed “remengo!”). As our data sheets were in the car door, they svolazz away and were all eaten by Chewbacca, that was svoling in the vicinanz. This happened in Largo Pestalozzi, so we know that this place has a Bora power of +38.
However, even without our important data, we remember that the best places to see the Bora resulted (together with the succitated Largo Pestalozzi):
- The Molo Audace: ex molo San Carlo, rinominated Audace after the arrive in 1918 of the incrociator Audace, that audacement won its battle against the Austroungaric Bora that tried to suff it away (Patoco, 1936). Now the Molo Audace is used by mulonis for their pissing challenges (Manna, 2009b), and some expert mulonis sfrutt the Bora as a doping effect to pissar more lontan. Some inexpert mulonis, instead, piss from the wrong side of the Molo and slavazz all their bragonzes. If the Molo is iazated, you have a good 90% of probability to finir in the water.
- The sacket: the porticiol where the Bora, suffing, makes a very nice percussion concert with the trees of the boats.
- Via dela Bora: the origin of its name is not sure, but some researchers, after long long long anthropological meteoropatical evoluzionistic darwinistic nematocistic studies are squasi squasi convinciuted that this street is named in honour of the strong Bora wind that suffs here. Other biraiolic scientists are instead convinted that the original name of the street was “Via dela Bira”, but when the toponomastic was digitalized an imbriagon impiegat have sbagliated boton and struckated “o” instead of “i”. The proof is that in the QWERTY computer tastieres the two botones are very close. The same impiegat became famous years later for an important particin in the film “Balle Spaziali”: he was the tiratore scelto Stronzo (Note gopelcool).
- Via mulino a vento: a long time ago, people built in this street a mulin a vent to sfrutt the power of the Bora to make some works. When the Bora scoverted this plan, she exclaimed immediately “Fart a moment! You are scoregiated in the head! Go to remeng vostr! If I wanted to work I would suff in Friul! Mole me!”. The Bora sbregated the mulin from the ground and remengated it in the sea.
- Via San Nicolò: San Nicolò lived here, but a long time ago the strong Bora of this street took him away, adiritur fin Bari. Now only the bronzeus Umberto Saba resists here, but the dispettous Bora has stolen his pipe.
- The “Sella della Bora”: in Val Rosandra, at the feet of Monte Carso. The legend tells that the Bora was a nymph of the Carso. When people killed her lover, she was very incazzated and began to suffs against men, becaming a witch. Now she lives closed in a cave, but when she collects enough power she comes out and suffs for 3 (or 6, or 9) days. Maybe the legendary cave is in the “Sella della Bora”, keep all dear...
Other hot spots are: Bag's Square, Unity Square and Redbridge Square. All that finish with “Square”, dei. For this reason, some Cesareragazzian researchers think that a lot of Bora suffed also over the head of Roby Of Square, stealing in the years all his fluent cavelada.

O wild East-North East wind,
Thou that sufianding make always casin
Shall your big power put the clouds in baul
And leave a big rain scassar the Friul!

Some academic scassamarones would objectate that this is not a discussion, but we do not gavem pel cool. There is not much thing to discuss dei, the best places of Bora suffing are listed in the results. However, we can contar you some more monades:
A long time ago in the middle of the Gulf of Triest there was a very nice island, with very nice beaches where all the mulones made a lot of clanfas. But, pian pianin, that island was suffed away by the Bora, until the island reached its final destination, very very far away. That island is, obviously, Bora Bora. This story is confirmated by the fact that Bora Bora is grouped in the “Isole Sottovento” (Really! Search in Wikipedia if you do not believe ah!).
Other: the Bora is the cause of the high madness rate of triestins.
Even the calmest triestin is always a little imborezated, a term clearly derived from the name of the wind. Some furlan researchers are convintutis that this is caused by the many sazie culatades that triestins take because of the Bora. As they suppose that triestins ragion with the cool, they say that all these culatades are like many colps in the head, so triestins become cofes (Friko, 2004).

There are many places in which the Bora suffs with all her majesty, but we think the more batuted are Largo Pestalozzi, Via della Bora and the Molo Audace, even if the record belong to the Noghere with 212 Km/h on the legendary 10 March 2010. However, the wise vecionis of the city say that no xe più la Bora de una volta, so we think we must be fully finanziated to search where this mona de Bora de una volta has gone. We hypothize that she has gone to cazzegiar to Bora Bora, so we need to go there at least for one month to find her.

Note gopelcool: this citation needs great culture of monades. To understand it watch this:

We thank the Bora for upraising the high CTF mulettes' cotoles and for suffing away the spuzz of the Ferriera.
We thank Chewbacca for his very important dialogues. And thanks also to Rutto from Balle Spaziali.

Friko V.E. 2004. Triestins and triesticolis: evolutionary convergenzes. Homo furlanutis 2: 3-6.
Lucas G. 1977. The dark side of the Bora. Star wars nerd alert 12: 2-5.
Manna D. 2009a. Miramare-Opicina: a preliminary study on the best bicycle way. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 6-8.
Manna D. 2009b. Molo Audace pissing challenges: best tactics. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 22-25.
Patoco T. 1936. Se stava meo co che se stava pezo. Austroungaric nostalgies 2: 12-15.
Refolo F. 2001. Me refo del refolo col fiasco de refosco ma dopo vedo fosco e me infrasco int'el fresco. Bora chronicles 12: 2-3.

Bon, e adesso non vi resta che andare a comprare l'osmiza sul mare e regalarlo a tutti!
Se no la bora ve porterà via con Chewbacca!

L'Osmiza sul mare lo trovate in tutte le librerie di Trieste e Bisiacaria a 10 euri.
Oppure comodamente online a questo link.
O anche in formato ebook.


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