Incomincia ufficialmente la stagione estiva, se no gavè visto Barcola ieri. E quindi, in atesa de far l'agiornamento de sto studio tratto dal Tre volte Monon Behavior, lo riproponemo che no fa mai mal.
Barcola monetoration: a guide to the CTF distribution from Pineta to Beevio
DIEGO MANNA
Monon Behavior Reseach Department
Abstract
We monitorate extensively the CTF factor present at Barcola, from
Pineta to the Beevio of Miramar, to produce a touristic map of the CTF
present. We found a clear settorial distribution of different triestin
mularia categories and ages in the long Barcolan Riviera. As the
presence of High CTF mulettes is real and not abstract, we terminate
here the abstract.
Key words: Topoleenee, anti-tuff comitate, topology, patata hotspot, Barcolan Riviera Life Tour
Introduction
In the last years, Triest is trying to become a touristic city, in order
to improve its budget and work less possible (this is the exact plan,
even if the political class will negate it). So a lot of ideas and
projects are on the way, like the Sea Park, the Carso Park, the
abelliment of the Rive, the transformation of the grua Ursus in the
Patock Eiffel Tower, the research of Saba’s lost pipe, the Bailey Bridge
in Red Bridge square, that will be completed with the substitution of
the canal water with the Baileys Irish Cream, the Barcola-Monte Grisa
funivy, the magnification of the Area Science Park and many others.
The aim of all these projects is to attract tourist making Triest the
capital of the Culture of the Mitteleurope. However, we are quite sure
that the tourists of all the world are not attracted by those
superficial things like culture, theater, science or nature. We think
that the tourists prefer a more deep concept, an ideal paradise lost, an
higher value that makes all d’accord: the CTF factor (CuloTetteFiga
factor; Manna, 2009a). In Triest, during the summer season, this factor
is very high at Barcola, and can attract a casinaz of tourists if well
reclamized.
For this reason, we planned to monitorate extensively the CTF factor
present at Barcola to produce a touristic map that can be given a
gratish in all the info-point of our region. In this way tourists will
surely come to Triest, the capital of the Mitteleuropean Patata, so the
budget of the city will be improved and we will work less. Also, if the
mulettes have to work less, they will go to Barcola, so the CTF will be
higher and more tourists will arrive. The perfect plan.
For obvious reasons, from now this CTF monitoration will be called simply
monetoration.
Material and methods
For the monetoration we used a variant of the classic first person
scoionament sampling method (Manna, 2009a), the first person scoionament
but ocio-content sampling method. We made a very long cameenada from
Pineta to the Beevio of Miramare on a Sunday of July in the afternoon,
when the CTF factor reach the maximum. In the morning, in fact, there is
a too high tax of RGF (Ranzidume Growth Factor). We perform this long
cameenada wearing a pair of white infradeeto bought from LIDL for 2,99
euri, a clear istrianism (Manna, 2009b).
The Barcolan Riviera has been divided in six different zones: Pineta,
Cedas, Topoleenee (Micky Mice or Little Rats), California, Marinella and
Beevio, some of them furthermore divided in subzones.
Each zone has been characterized by the quantity, the quality (from 1 to 5) and the typology (defined as “
topology”) of the CTF presence.
The topologies comprises:
Nacici: characterized by a CTF factor of 4 or
5, they represent the fundamental resource for the touristic economy of
the future Triest and must be valorizated.
CBCR: juvenile nacici, sometimes circundated by older males that belong to the category defined as
Papi (Burlasconi, 2008). CBCR means “Cresci Bene Che Ripasso”.
Squeenzias*: juvenile self-appointed nacici,
characterized by the continue utilization of all their seductive
repertoire with all the males in the zone, preferably with occupated
males. They are easily recognizable by the presence in their sugaman of
rivists like Cioè or Top Girl. Also, they are usually taking
auto-pictures taken from above, making the typical
guato face, with their mouth shaped in a hypothetical kiss.
 |
| Fig. Heta. A cressuted squeenzia, undecided if to evolve in a tardona or a maranteega (Pupol by Michele Zazzara) |
Tardones: sort of cressuted squeenzias over 40, always brustoladed, ontoladed and tapated at fire.
Mulones: topology very spread in Triest,
characterized by the viva l’A e po’ bon life style, the high spritz
consumption and the ability of performing the clanfa, or at least the
bomba americana.
Maranteegas: females, usually aged, characterized by a very low pH and a very high RGF.
Veciones: aged females. This category not
necessarily comprises only maranteegas, because there are a lot of
veciones full of morbin. So they can be furtherly divided in
vecete or
veciaze.
These topologies are only a small part of the complex world of female
triestin mularia, because we use only the categories needed for this
study. For an approfondiment you have to wait Monon Behavior 7 in 2025,
that sarà che noi no saremo.
Some academic scassamarones think that this method of monetoration has a
strong bias due to the subjectivity de gustibus. Our theory is that the
male of
Homo sapiens enlarge his apprezament for the CTF
factor with the age: when he is 16 years old he looks the mulettes from
14 to 16; at the age of 18 he looks the mulettes from 15 to 19; at 20
from 16 to 22; at 25 from 17 to 28; at 30 from 18 to 35 and so on.
Conseguentement, the male of
Homo sapiens, getting older, has
always more and more mulettes to look and appreciate than before, and
every year he will inexorably become more distracted and more
insempiated. As the performer of this study is 31 years old, we think
that his interests covers a good range of CTF, so the study will be
surely useful for the tourists.
Results
We found a distribution of CTF topology, quality and quantity so riassumable:
Zone – CTF topology – CTF quantity – CTF quality
Pineta 1 – various – 4 – 3
Pineta 2 – nacici – 5 – 5
Cedas – manigated – 5 – 3
Pre-Topoleens – mulones/tardones – 3 – 3
Topoleen 1 – tardones – 2 – 2
Topoleen 2 – mulones – 2 – 2
Topoleen 3 – mulones/manigated – 3 – 2
Topoleen 4 – mulones/veciones – 3 – 2
Topoleen 5 – mulones/veciones – 3 – 2
Topoleen 6 – CBCR – 1 – 2
Topoleen 7 – CBCR – 1 – 3
Topoleen 8 – CBCR – 2 – 4
Topoleen 9 – mulones/squeenzias – 3 – 3
Topoleen 10 – squeenzias – 3 – 3
California – squeenzias/CBCR – 5 – 4
Marinella – mulones/tardones – 4 – 3
Beevio – nacici – 5 – 5
However, the data in the table are only indicative and an approfondiment for each zone is necessary.
Pineta 1 (left of the fountain watching the sea)
There is not a clear topology of CTF, here you can find nacici,
maranteegas and mulones over 25. Under the pines, there is a growth of
the RGF with the presence of veciones with tavolinets to play cards,
that apparently live there all the summer, day and night. Very
important, in this zone there was a cartel that affirmed that “è vietato
prendere il ragno nel orticciolo”. So we think it is full of spiders,
pay attention.
Pineta 2 (right of the fountain watching the sea)
This zone is one of the CTF hot spot of Barcola. The topology is
universitarian nacici and they are everywhere. The zone is so full of
person that there is very little space to place the sugaman. This is
also a place full of nagane, legere, bobe and tare (Manna, 2009c), so
pay attention to not ciapar lignade. Protected by the pines, near the
end of the zone, there are the vecionis playing cards or lavre. The
lavre court is a sort of vecionis roccafort, so do not try to put your
feet in the vicinanz or you will be hit by a svolant lavra.
Cedas
The spiagget of the Cedas is traditionally the place of families and
children, so the CTF factor here is manigated and you cannot do the
mona. The zone is so full that a lot of families and children are pian
pianin invading the pines of the Pineta 2, beginning a screaming war
with the vecionis of the lavre.
Pre-Topoleens
Between the Cedas and the Topoleens there are many mulones, but also
some maranteegas and tardones. We found in the zone also some mysterious
white wooden rectangular artifacts, that other researchers indicate to
be coffins for the triestin Dracula, called Drekcul, so do not open them
during the day if you do not have the suncream protection number 10000
for the poor Drekcul.
Topoleenee 1-5
The first five topoleens are characterized by the presences of various
topology, principalment mulones and tardones but also maranteegas and
veciones. Between the second and the third Topoleen there is also
another spiagget very similar to the Cedas, with families, children and
manigated CTF factor. The fourth Topoleen is characterized by the
presence of a colony of cormoragni (Manna, 2010) in the scoi, but maybe
they are cormorognas, a subspecies very dangerous for the human
hygiene. The animals are trying from years to live in peace and push the
people away, they have adiritur write on the Little’s Segnalazioni a
long letter, but the war is still going on. Some ornithologists are
convinted that they are preparing a secret alliance with the cocai of
the Pedocin. In the Topoleen 5 the comun have exposed the photoes of all
the Miss Topoleenee.
Topoleen 6
The Topoleen 6 is a sort of No man’s land, and it represent the confin
with the younger maledeta mularia of the next Topoleenee. The topology
is CBCR and the zone is little populated.
Topoleene 7-8
This zone is the kingdom of the clanfa, the hotspot of all the young
clanfadores. The CTF factor topology in this zone belong primarily to
the CBCR category. The mulettes stay here attracted by the clanfadores.
However, there is a clear negative trend in the demography of the zone,
that, if confrontated with 10 years ago, appears semi-empty.
Sacrilegiament, in 2010 the Topoleen 8 is also become the base of the
evil comitato anti-tuffi, a group of anti-clanfa firmadores (Porfiria,
2010).
Topoleene 9-10
The last two topoleenee have various topologies: the Topoleen 9 is
characterized by the presence of some mulones and some squeenzias, while
at the topoleen 10 appears predominant for the first time the topology
of the squeenzia, that will populate also the California.
California
This zone is really really populated, there is a great mularic skagazz
and it is very easy to zapar some sugamans while camining. The CTF
topology changes while you go ahead: it passes from CBCR to squeenzias
and finally to mulones and some nacici.
Marinella
Allontananding from the California there is always less skagazz, until
you reach a very quiet zone, from Marinella to Beevio. This is the place
of the mulones and of some tardones that want to stay in peace,
immersed in an uncontaminated nature enriched by the spuzon of the auti.
Beevio
Avicinanding to the Beevio, the skagazz level raises again, but not at
the level of California. The Beevio is another CTF hotspot, and a lot of
nacici can be seen here, together with some mulones and some tardones.
Also, there are some maranteegas that comment all day the CTF quality of
the other maranteegas.
As a secondary results we noticed that the number of s’ciockanding auti is directly proportional to the CTF quality of the area.
Discussion
The Barcolan Riviera in all his length represent the evolution of life
of all the triestins, called Barcolan Riviera Life Tour (BRLT). The
colonization of the Riviera begins at the Cedas with your family, when
you are a young cagainbraghe. Then, when you are promoted to mocoloso
and to muleto, you can avanz to the Topoleenee. Then there is the next
stage, the California, when you are a mulo not yet decided if to became a
legera, a nagana, a bobana or a tara. Growing, you have to go on.
However, to complete the stage of California and to be promoted to
Marinella, you have to become able to put a sdraio on your motorin. Some
say that you can also find special sdraios homologated for the motorin
(Sardoni Barcolani Vivi, concert communication), probably at LIDL for
15,99 euri.
The last stage of this evolution seems to be the Beevio, but in reality
the Barcolan Riviera Life Tour is organized like an old videogame: when
you arrive at the end, you have simply to begin again. So the stage
after the Beevio is the Pineta, and this explain the presence of nacici
both in the Beevio and in the Pineta, in two places so distant. Then you
will stay in Pineta until you are promoted to vecia boba. Then, you
will return to the Cedas with your new sons, and they will begin a new
Barcolan Riviera Life Tour. If you are an inoxidable sariandola
tergestina, you will then try to complete the second lap of the BRLT,
from Topoleenee to Beevio. If you will be successful in this second lap,
you will finally win a personal lavra and will be accepted in the
lavre court of the Pineta, the final stage, with the solemn promise to
defend the lavre court from the young maledeta mularia. In this last
stage of your life you will also learn one of the most ancient secret of
the old sariandola tergestina: the
depandance car. The real wise triestin vecion, when the sun declares the beginning of the balnear season, puts his
depandance car
in the Pineta and leave it there for all the summer, using it as a
magazzin for the sugaman, the slippins, the boxers, the dresses, the
frigo, the sdraio, the chairs, the tables, the cards and the personal
lavra. Then he goes up and down using the autobus, in order to be free
of biasteming in the bus to the young mularia for their fastidious
zainetts full of monades (Vodopivec et al., 2010).
However, the results of our study suggest that some cambiaments are on
the way: the Topoleenee are not so populated as years ago and, mostly
preoccupant, if we exclude the lavre court, there is not a clear hot
spot of the vecionis. Years ago there was a clear “vecionis zone” in the
first 5 topoleenee. This confin was also recognized by the comun, that
put here the photoes of the high CTF Miss Topoleenee, so the vecionis
that tried to pass here risked an instantaneous infart (ULTRABULLoTS,
2010).
But now this division is not so clear and the vecionis are appostated
everywhere and they are conquering pian pianin all the Barcolan Riviera.
In July 2010, when we are writing this article, they are trying to win
an important battle of the war against the mularia: the struggle for the
Topoleen 8, one of the clanfa’s old roccaforts, lead by the rebellious
comitato anti-tuffi. This battle is monopolizing the Little’s
Segnalazioni, and news like the Rigassificator or the TAV anyone have
them pel cool. The drastic demographic loss of the last Topoleenee seems
to suggest that the comitato is winning and that the California could
become soon the new confin. However, we are optimist, and thanks to the
renewed interest in the clanfa endemism, testimoniated also by the
Great Olympiad of the Clanfa, we think that the Topoleenee 7-8 could be
soon dichiarated National Protected Clanfa Area and Devecionizated Zone.
Bon, we are going long without speaking about the most important thing:
the CTF factor. We found two patata hotspot: Pineta and Beevio, that for
now seems to be places distant enough from the generational clanfa war.
However, the risk is that the possible future hegemony of the vecionis
in all the Barcolan Riviera causes a diminution of the CTF factor,
destroying our primary touristic attraction.
Conclusion
We found the highest presence of nacici in the Pineta and in the Beevio,
so we think that the two area must be prepared for the touristic future
explosion. For this, we think that it is necessary that we take a lot
of finanziaments in order to:
-butar in graia all the
depandance cars of the vecionis, that steals parking for tourists;
-organize courses to teach to the tourists the endemism of the
sdraioinmotorining, that they will surely find useful;
-organize courses of clanfa for tourists in the future National
Protected Clanfa Area, in order to infastidate the vecionis that will
soon be compattated again in their natural zones (the lavre court and
the first 5 topoleenee).
In this way the CTF factor will no more be disturbed by the nosepolism
and will grow prosperous and free, attracting new tourists every year.
Acknowledgements
We thanks all the nacici of Barcola for making the long caminada so interesting.
We thanks the Comitato anti-tuffi because we think that this sort of
comitate represent an important part of the triestinity necessary to
give morbin to the triestin summers and to the Little’s Segnalazioni,
and must be salvaguardated. However, we obviously are on the side of
the clanfadores, at least until our second lap of the BRLT.
We thank all the persons of the Spiz Association because thanks to the
Clanfa Olympiad the important endemism of the clanfa is strongly
salvaguardated.
Finally, we thank Sardoni Barcolani Vivi for the pearl of saggezz:
“giovini triestini, chi stà meo de noi, noi ne basta un spritz, distirai
sui scoi”.
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