Bora a 130 e ciapili. Qual buon vento! Una delle migliori occasioni per rispolverare lo studio sulla Bora pubblicato nel Tre Volte Monon Behavior.
P.S. Prestissimo grandi novità a riguardo della saga Monon Behavior :)
Bora
suffing: Ode to the East-North East Wind
DIEGO
MANNA
Monon Behavior Research Department
Abstract
The
Bora is one of the principal aspects that characterize the city of
Triest. This wind suffs really forton and is loved by all the
triestins, apart when they make sazie culatades on the ground. We
measure the power of this wind in various location of the city in
order to mapizar the best places where tourists can enjoy its
enchantment, cagand themselves indoss for the zime and svoland away.
Key
words:
dark side, Chewbacca, largo pestalozzi, bira, Percy
Bysshe Shelley
Introduction
Pupol by Erika Ronchin |
The
Bora is a very important peculiarity of the city of Triest, so
important that every time that the Bora suffs at more than 100 km/h
the national television channels make a service about it (some
persons think they always recycle the same service), while in the
rest of the year no one has pel cool Triest, and think it is in
Slovenia, in Croatia, in Jugo, in Remengo, or near Trento, just after
the bridge.
There
are two types of Bora: the light Bora, that suffs with the sun, and
the evil dark side of the Bora, called the dark Bora, that has been
corrupted by the emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader, and that suffs
with the malefic rain (Lucas, 1977). When the dark Bora suffs, it is
very very longhi and even Chewbacca batts brockes.
However,
the light Bora has a symbolic importance for some old Austroungaric
nostalgic: they say that the Bora, that suffs circumcirca from the
direction of the old Austroungaric empire, ports with it the sun, the
nice weather and the prosperity. Instead, the wind that suffs from
South-West, like “that maledet barc in 1918”, ports piova, sand
and scovazzes (Patoco, 1936).
Bon,
we have stufated ourselves of this long introduction and go ahead.
The aim of this study is to mapizar the best places in Triest where
the Bora suffs, in order to encourage tourists to visit the places
where they can cagar themselves indoss for the zime and svolar away
without paying the airplane ticket.
Material
and methods
To
perform our study, we use the solit first person scoionament sampling
method (Manna, 2009a), cazzeggianding in various streets during the
days of light Bora. During the days of dark Bora, we stayed at home
watching from the window the ribaltanding vecionis, because no semo
miga mone. To measure the power of the Bora, we used a highly
scientific scale based on various varianting variables. If the
variable was present, we assigned a bonus to the local Bora power as
indicated in table borin. If the Bora was not present, we used the
table Borout, that is not allegated in this study.
Variable
|
Bonus
|
Veces ribaltaded on the ground
|
+10, +15 if they scream “remengo!”
|
Rivoltated umbrellas
|
+2, +5 if the umbrellas are
“anti-wind” tech
|
Porcons emitted
|
Depends on porcon type
|
High CTF muletes' cotoles upraised
|
+3 and a golden medal to the Bora!
|
Low CTF muletes' cotoles upraised
|
-2, stupid Bora cisba
|
Car doors divelted
|
+5, +7 if the owner of the car is
triestin
|
Scoverciated scovazonis
|
+2, +3 if the scovazzes fly away
|
Capotated scooters
|
+2, +4 if the scooter was moving,
special prize to the owner if the scooter has the parabrezz
|
Sradicated trees
|
Depends on tree type
|
Svolanting cats
|
+5, +7 in case of cats sgionfated by
gattares, +10 if the thing svoling is Chewbacca
|
Table
borin.
Bonus assigned to Bora power in presence of different conditions.
However,
there is a big malus that must be applicated to the formula: if one
of the vecionis in zone exclaims the pearl of saggezz “No xe più
la bora de una volta”, all the bonuses assigned must be instantly
removed, because the vecionis knows her long (la sa longa, dei).
Results
Fig.
Burian. Bora obtaining a +3 bonus.
|
We
had a big number of data, but at the end of the study the Bora raised
the cotole of a really high CTF girl (Fig. Burian), we distracted
ourselves and opened the car door without tegnir it and it svoled
away against a vecia, ribaltanding her (she screamed “remengo!”).
As our data sheets were in the car door, they svolazz away and were
all eaten by Chewbacca, that was svoling in the vicinanz. This
happened in Largo Pestalozzi, so we know that this place has a
Bora power of +38.
However,
even without our important data, we remember that the best places to
see the Bora resulted (together with the succitated Largo
Pestalozzi):
-
The Molo Audace: ex molo San Carlo, rinominated Audace after the
arrive in 1918 of the incrociator Audace, that audacement won its
battle against the Austroungaric Bora that tried to suff it away
(Patoco, 1936). Now the Molo Audace is used by mulonis for their
pissing challenges (Manna, 2009b), and some expert mulonis sfrutt the
Bora as a doping effect to pissar more lontan. Some inexpert mulonis,
instead, piss from the wrong side of the Molo and slavazz all their
bragonzes. If the Molo is iazated, you have a good 90% of probability
to finir in the water.
-
The sacket: the porticiol where the Bora, suffing, makes a very
nice percussion concert with the trees of the boats.
-
Via dela Bora: the origin of its name is not sure, but some
researchers, after long long long anthropological meteoropatical
evoluzionistic darwinistic nematocistic studies are squasi squasi
convinciuted that this street is named in honour of the strong Bora
wind that suffs here. Other biraiolic scientists are instead
convinted that the original name of the street was “Via dela Bira”,
but when the toponomastic was digitalized an imbriagon impiegat have
sbagliated boton and struckated “o” instead of “i”. The proof
is that in the QWERTY computer tastieres the two botones are very
close. The same impiegat became famous years later for an important
particin in the film “Balle Spaziali”: he was the tiratore scelto
Stronzo (Note gopelcool).
-
Via mulino a vento: a long time ago, people built in this street
a mulin a vent to sfrutt the power of the Bora to make some works.
When the Bora scoverted this plan, she exclaimed immediately “Fart
a moment! You are scoregiated in the head! Go to remeng vostr! If I
wanted to work I would suff in Friul! Mole me!”. The Bora sbregated
the mulin from the ground and remengated it in the sea.
-
Via San Nicolò: San Nicolò lived here, but a long time ago the
strong Bora of this street took him away, adiritur fin Bari. Now only
the bronzeus Umberto Saba resists here, but the dispettous Bora has
stolen his pipe.
-
The “Sella della Bora”: in Val Rosandra, at the feet of Monte
Carso. The legend tells that the Bora was a nymph of the Carso. When
people killed her lover, she was very incazzated and began to suffs
against men, becaming a witch. Now she lives closed in a cave, but
when she collects enough power she comes out and suffs for 3 (or 6,
or 9) days. Maybe the legendary cave is in the “Sella della Bora”,
keep all dear...
Other
hot spots are: Bag's Square, Unity Square and Redbridge Square.
All that finish with “Square”, dei. For this reason, some
Cesareragazzian researchers think that a lot of Bora suffed also over
the head of Roby Of Square, stealing in the years all his fluent
cavelada.
Discussion
O
wild East-North East wind,
Thou
that sufianding make always casin
Shall
your big power put the clouds in baul
And
leave a big rain scassar the Friul!
Some
academic scassamarones would objectate that this is not a discussion,
but we do not gavem pel cool. There is not much thing to discuss dei,
the best places of Bora suffing are listed in the results. However,
we can contar you some more monades:
A
long time ago in the middle of the Gulf of Triest there was a very
nice island, with very nice beaches where all the mulones made a lot
of clanfas. But, pian pianin, that island was suffed away by the
Bora, until the island reached its final destination, very very far
away. That island is, obviously, Bora Bora. This story is confirmated
by the fact that Bora Bora is grouped in the “Isole Sottovento”
(Really! Search in Wikipedia if you do not believe ah!).
Other:
the Bora is the cause of the high madness rate of triestins.
Even
the calmest triestin is always a little imborezated, a term clearly
derived from the name of the wind. Some furlan researchers are
convintutis that this is caused by the many sazie culatades that
triestins take because of the Bora. As they suppose that triestins
ragion with the cool, they say that all these culatades are like many
colps in the head, so triestins become cofes (Friko, 2004).
Conclusion
There
are many places in which the Bora suffs with all her majesty, but we
think the more batuted are Largo Pestalozzi, Via della Bora and the
Molo Audace, even if the record belong to the Noghere with 212 Km/h
on the legendary 10 March 2010. However, the wise vecionis of the
city say that no xe più la Bora de una volta, so we think we must be
fully finanziated to search where this mona de Bora de una volta has
gone. We hypothize that she has gone to cazzegiar to Bora Bora, so we
need to go there at least for one month to find her.
Note
gopelcool: this
citation needs great culture of monades. To understand it watch this:
Acknowledgements
We
thank the Bora for upraising the high CTF mulettes' cotoles and for
suffing away the spuzz of the Ferriera.
We
thank Chewbacca for his very important dialogues. And thanks also to
Rutto from Balle Spaziali.
References
Friko
V.E. 2004. Triestins and triesticolis: evolutionary convergenzes.
Homo furlanutis 2: 3-6.
Lucas
G. 1977. The dark side of the Bora. Star wars nerd alert 12:
2-5.
Manna
D. 2009a. Miramare-Opicina: a preliminary study on the best
bicycle way. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 6-8.
Manna
D. 2009b. Molo Audace pissing challenges: best tactics. Monon
behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 22-25.
Patoco T. 1936. Se stava meo co che se stava pezo.
Austroungaric nostalgies 2: 12-15.
Refolo F. 2001. Me refo del refolo col fiasco de
refosco ma dopo vedo fosco e me infrasco int'el fresco. Bora
chronicles 12: 2-3.Bon, e adesso non vi resta che andare a comprare l'osmiza sul mare e regalarlo a tutti!
Se no la bora ve porterà via con Chewbacca!
L'Osmiza sul mare lo trovate in tutte le librerie di Trieste e Bisiacaria a 10 euri.
Oppure comodamente online a questo link.
O anche in formato ebook.
L'Osmiza sul mare lo trovate in tutte le librerie di Trieste e Bisiacaria a 10 euri.
Oppure comodamente online a questo link.
O anche in formato ebook.
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